Friday, January 22, 2010

INTERCEPTED INTELLIGENCE TRANSMISSION!!

SEEKERS OF TRUTH! I HAVE UNCOVERED THIS INCRIMINATING INTELLIGENCE REPORT FROM THE SO-CALLED "GUNDERSON FAMILY" OF MEDICINE LAKE. I WILL NOT DISCLOSE THE EXACT NAME OF MY SOURCE, BUT THEY GO BY THE CALLSIGN: AGENT DOG.
WITNESS THE DECEPTION!!!!


ALSO:

THEY ARE EVEN POSTING PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE HERE!!!!

http://picasaweb.google.com/atravousnee

THEY ARE MOCKING US!!

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//////INCOMING BLOGOSPHERE INFORMATION PARCEL TYPE NVB (NON-VLOG-BLOG)\\\\\

:::::PHASE ONE/WEEK ONE INTELLIGENCE REPORT:::::



Ø DEPLOYMENT:

o STATUS: Successful and largely uneventful.

o REMAINING ISSUES:

§ Failed deployment of front awning and emblem of the ALL-SEEING EYE. This will be resolved in Phase II.

§ Minor difficulties in transport resulted in flaking of paint on the GUNDERSON end of the Listening Post. This, with the preceding difficulty, did not compromise our cover. It did, however, lead the public to believe that the GUNDERSON FAMILY was comprised of slobs and the chronically unkempt. Though an undesirable situation, this shortcoming was well within acceptable parameters.

ACTIVE FIELD AGENTS


AGENT MARIGOLD


AGENT DANDELION


AGENT PANSY




AGENT SNAPDRAGON


AGENT HOSTA


AGENT VIOLET




AGENT DOG




AGENT PENGUIN (CURRENTLY MIA)

AGENT CAT (CURRENTLY MIA)

>>>SHANTY INTELLIGENCE: THREAT ASSESSMENT<<<

Listed below are the threat assessment reports of only a handful of these “shanties” we have gathered intelligence on during the process of Phase I. The rest will be profiled in the remaining three phases.

- SHAN-TEA

o THREAT LEVEL: (V. HIGH)

o STRENGTHS:

§ Their promise of hot beverages secures more loyalty among locals and freelance agents. Due to budget cuts, we cannot make the same tantalizing offer.

§ (Nearly) cylindrical shape makes this “shanty” difficult to spot on radar.

o WEAKNESSES:

§ Field agents in Phase One (Week One) were informed that the so-called “Shan-Tea” was, in fact, out of tea. Unable to perform the duties required of them in their front operation, their counter-intelligence actions were laid bare. To best exploit this weakness, we must recruit more field agents to consume their namesake beverage until their supplies are depleted. This will leave them naked, so to speak.

§ Additionally, it has been discovered that at least two among their personnel are not citizens of the United States. Perhaps this will attract the attention of our more nationalist subordinate organizations (DHS, INS, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police)?

- DICE HOUSES

o THREAT LEVEL: (MODERATE)

o STRENGTHS:

§ Decentralized structure of five separate components makes it difficult to keep surveillance.

§ Our organization currently has two members of their personnel as field double agents. One, Agent Marigold, has already proven to in fact be a triple agent who has repeatedly compromised the location of Agent Penguin (Alpha).

§ The de-facto leader of this set of outposts also holds government office in the remote village of “Mount Holly”. His apprehension may make enemies in previously unexpected places.

o WEAKNESSES:

§ Petite nature of the outposts makes it difficult to store sensitive equipment out of sight.

§ In the event of an attack by gambling-addict giants (or similarly viced individuals capable powerful telekinesis), their “shanties” may very well be destroyed in a massive game of dice.

- LIGHTHOUSE

o THREAT LEVEL: (V. HIGH)

o STRENGTHS:

§ The Death Ray unit mounted atop this “shanty” has proven itself to be a formidable threat to both LP-7 and any other field agents within a twenty (20) meter radius.

§ Metallic shielding on lower level makes them 70% resistant to retaliation by small heat rays, low caliber bullets, and most fists.

§ A portion of the structure serves as a watchtower, and is currently the highest point on the entire surface of the lake. Until we attain the funds to sign a contract with that guy from craigslist who now owns our sole spy satellite, this “shanty” has the largest range of visibility.

o WEAKNESSES:

§ A field agent witnessed the highly ineffective and lengthy implementation of a hypnotic suggestion passage. Instead of seizing the minds of those within earshot, it only succeeded in eliciting a feeling of being trapped and acute nausea.

§ The oblong rectangular shape of the structure’s base coupled with its height make the structure susceptible to capsizing in the presence of high winds or a steady shove by a few committed individuals.

- DANCE

o THREAT LEVEL: (V. HIGH)

o STRENGTHS:

§ The Dance “shanty’s” ability to gather and control crowds is unparalleled. As of yet, they have only utilized this power over the minds, bodies, and asses of those caught in their perimeter to perpetuate only the “dance” portion of their assuredly complex and sinister agenda.

§ Though I do not doubt their loyalty, several field agents have confided that their musical arsenal is both “vast” and “really tight”.

o WEAKNESSES:

§ This “shanty’s” personnel, even up to its highest echelons of power, often succumb to their own insidious method of control. This often leaves them oblivious and disoriented while they gyrate and groove uncontrollably.

§ Due to the high volume of traffic that passes into and out of the “shanty”, it is not difficult to bypass their lax security by simply feigning dance-like motions during infiltration.


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1 comment:

  1. 每次看完你的文章,總是回味許久,要經常發表喔。.........................

    ReplyDelete

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